5 Years....

Well, it is that time of the year again, when I stop to think, to look back, try desperately to hold on to so many beautiful memories the past 5 years have given me. I try not to forget even a single bit of it. I try to collect the memories, the bits of happiness and the moments of joys and hold them close to my heart. Some memories, though, send a shiver down my spine......even today.

Five years ago, I got a bundle of joy wrapped in a blue blanket which stared at me with those bright brown eyes....which held my little finger so tightly and purred at me as though saying "Finally, I get to see you! Hi Maaa!! How are you doing?" I feel as though it was just a week or two ago that I saw your first smile, just a day or two ago, that I saw you take your first steps towards me and looking totally shocked at what you had done. I had to hug you and console you and make you understand, it was the first time you had "walked" on your own, that there was nothing wrong with it.

I still remember the first time you called me "ma". It always used to be "tha", to address anything that moved. But all of a sudden, I heard "Ma", I turned, ran towards you and begged you to repeat it and you wouldn't, you just smiled that angelic smile of yours. Devil. Had to wait with my heart aching for another two hours before you would again say "Maaaa", so softly as though only angels could hear you. I heard you though. Then, out of the blues, a few days later came "ththaththa".

I still remember your first day at school. Looking at all the other kids crying, you were like "Come on guys grow up. This is school for heaven's sake. You cannot have mom and dad around here". I remember seeing you go to a few of your less-brave classmates and saying "Don't cry baby", as though you were a 60 year old. But being my dear brave boy that you are, you started crying a week later when all the other kids had stopped. :)

Looking at you yesterday, I wonder if you are really five years old. Those 2 weeks in the hospital in your first year were the most painful I have ever had to endure. I was scared for your life. It was as though everything had come to an end abruptly. I still shiver when I remember your cries when they poked you all over your body. I still remember the "How can you let them do this to me?" look on your face. I still feel your desperation when you clung on to me for the next 2 weeks all 24 hours without a break. I still remember the friendly baby turned into a hostile patient, screaming at any white coat that approached. I still remember the countless dialogues with God and all the "thank yous" to Him and the relief when they finally let me take you back home. All this was so many years ago?

You are so grown up now, so big, so affectionate. You will start running your rat race very soon darling. Like us, your parents, you have a tough life ahead. You have to grow up to be a person exactly like your father. You have a big challenge there my dearest. I am sure you will. I just hope you will enjoy whatever you do. Whatever you do, whatever you become, be a good human being, just like your father. You are the cynosure of my eyes.....the "light" of my life.....